With friends celebrating anniversaries in the last month, it has brought it to mind.
Given the number of divorces, and break ups though, what is going wrong, many of them had thought it would be for at least a very long time? Sadly, this is not only non Christians.
I think one of the major reasons, is our understanding of the word love, and the concept of falling in love. Is love a warm, and fuzzy feeling, and does it make your heart beat faster? You may answer yes, to this, but that isn't something that will last. We will be 21 years married this March, and those warm fuzzy feelings do not last, it needs to be built on something stronger than that.
What does the Bible say?
1 corinthians 13:4 '' Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.''
What can we learn from this?
I think first things first, we need to stop wishing our husbands were someone else. Mine isn't particularly the romantic type, he has his moments, but is definitely not the type to write me love notes, and give me flowers often. However, (and this is the extremely practical part) he will clean up sick, poop, and bring me coffee before he goes off to work. So, there you are, love is practical.
We need to focus on our duties as wives, and to meditate on the bible, and what the bible says about women. There are many unhappy marriages, because the wife is domineering, and not submissive. Our husbands are to lead us, and we are to respect that. Not easy though, I have not been good at this sometimes!
We need to encourage, and be cheerful. Sadly, I sometimes fail in this. My daughter sometimes describes me as a negative realist. Something I need to focus on, as no one likes someone who is constantly negative.
Weneed to believe the best in our husbands, and certainly not to be quick to judge their intentions, or actions. Remember, there is often an explanation for misperceptions.
We need to remember both are imperfect, and it is easy to be blind to our faults, and yet able to pick out loads in our husbands! We need to pray that God will show us our faults. Oh, rue the day, when I think I am perfect! If we do have issues, then disscuss, and pray, but never nag. It is so easy to nag. I am afraid, mine often forgets to do things, and I have to gently remind him. He hates it when I nag. I am sure we would hate it if our husband started nagging, but it doesn't seem to bea trait that men are prone to.
I end with this wonderful quote from Matthew Henry; ''that the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.''
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