One of the worst things you can probably say to a mum of many, or any mum for that matter, is, ''How do you cope?!''
For one, it implies that babies, or children in general are some sort of punishment, and of course it must be a punishment if you choose to have many!
There are so many negative images regarding mothers, and mothers of young children especially. However, just when you think you have got past that, it is, ''Oooh, enjoy them now, you wait till they are teenagers!'' Leaves you wondering, just what horror can they be talking about. Not exactly encouraging. Though, as the mum of 5 teenagers, I can say, actually they are probably a bit easier now than they were when younger. Remember, no one has perfect children.
Changing our attitudes is a big thing. There is nothing negative in the Bible about children. Everything is positive. Abraham was promised a son as a blessing, ''Happy is the man who has his quiverful.'' Jesus said, ''Suffer the children to come unto me.''
We are told by so called marriage gurus, that we are to have time away from our children, or our marriage, won't survive. When our children are gone, we will somehow not be able to connect with our spouse. Nonsense! Marriage usually involves children, and marriage is about the family, working together to serve each other. Only when we become selfless, and put others' needs before ours, will we realise this. I am a great advocate for teamwork, and families are a team. We need to all learn to work together. Now, my children often find that a certain character trait in a sibling really annoys them. However, they can't run away from it, they have to deal with it. That helps them in later life. I have had so many people who were from larger families tell me just that. Who says home educators never deal with conflict resolution?
Another issue is churches. Too often they split families up. Segregating for creches, and sunday schools in morning services. I am an advocate for keeping the family together, and I really don't believe other people should miss the service to look after/teach my children. I am not saying Sunday school is a bad thing, but I think it has its place. It is the duty of Christian parents to teach their children, not the church. Originally, it was intended for children of unsaved parents. It should be God first, family second, and church last. Always! What good is a pastor, if he neglects his own wife and children in the process of tending the flock?
Back to attitudes, how about, ''Wow, what a blessing!'' Something positive, instead of something negative. Always, always better to say something positive to someone, especially when there is no need for negativity. ''Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.'' proverbs 17:24