Keepers At Home

Now, this is something I have been looking at for some .time. I will probably tread on toes here, but I would hope every part of our lives should be open to inspection regarding what the bible teaches. If we believe the bible to be the inerrant word of God, as I do, then we will realise that we can't just pick and choose. Oh how different society has gone in the last 30 years. However, this is no pointer for us, as we are not to be conformed to the world. Now, most mothers work full time outside of the home, and sad to say, it isn't due to necessity, but often because they desire a mortgage, or more material things. Then, when they get tempted into all this, they become a slave to mammon/money, and it does become a 'necessity' to them, if they want to keep the same roof over their heads. So where did it all start? In Titus 2, we read that; '' That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.(EMPHASIS MINE) So, what does 'keepers at home' mean? In the Greek, it has the meaning of 'stayers at home' So what does this mean? I would say, it can only mean one thing, and that is our main job is in the home! (is not to say there won't be exceptions to this rule, as there are some, including single mothers who have to go out to work full time.) It also doesn't mean, that we are NEVER to leave the home, as the Proverbs 31 woman pursues her own business, and sells her wares, and buys in the market place. She will make sure she has enough food, and supplies in the home, in case of emergency, and she will also be fit, active, and given to charity! I have to chuckle a little, as I doubt we would match up perfectly to all these qualities! In fact, in Proverbs 31:10, it states; 'Who can find a virtuous woman?'' Yes, that's it, ''Who can find?'' It is in the negative, as if this is a rare phenomenon. However, this should be our starting point, if we are truly serious, about following God's plan for our lives. So, our job is to make sure the home is running well, and is a place of nurture for the children we might be blessed with. How sad, that the home is usually the most empty place, in the day time. I have known of whole streets, where every house is empty, as all are out pursuing work outside the home. How society derides stay at home mums. How can it be, that a mother, or woman only has value when she is looking after other people's children, or working for a boss, other than her husband? I see it as Satan robbing people of their joy. If we are to be working full time outside the home, then we will not be there for our children, and not be there for our husbands, and to keep everything in order. There is a trend now for husbands to do their shareof the housework, as it is accepted it is impossible to do both. However, it is our job. This doesn't mean our husbands should never help, but rather it is our responsibility. A warning here, too, even if we are not working outside the home fulltime. It is possible to make ourselves too busy outside the home, even to the point of idleness.Not to use it for gossiping, and going idly from house to house. The whole point of the proverbs lady, was that she was to be doing good works, and helping, but again, not to the expense of her own family. I will explore this more again, as there is more to say. Feel free to comment.

Frustrated?

Now, has to be the busiest time of the year. With Christmas speedily approaching, and by now we have really got into the swing of the new school year. With it can come all sorts of frustrations, some caused by the demands put upon us, and maybe the expectations we set ourselves. One thing is for sure though. We are fully reliant on God, and his providence. My fave verse, is, ''I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.''Phil 4:13 In order for us to do through Christ though, it requires a dependency, and a dependency that it isn't my clever foresight, or physical strength that has caused the success of a particular task, or project, but rather Christ who gives the wisdom, and ability. It is not how self confident I am, or how my children are, rather that is relying on our own strength. Part of that, is accepting that sometimes things don't always go to plan. We may plan to go to a place, or do something, but the Lord has other plans. We may be late, and miss something altogether, but also, God is in that. It is sooo easy to get frustrated, and part of that is often because our plans have had to be cancelled, illness, circumstance, etc, but if we remember the Lord is in it, and all things work for good, for them that love God, then that is part of our trusting him. Not shouting, and stamping, cos we haven't got our way, but trusting in God who is bigger and wiser than use. We will be more relaxed too!! I wish I had learned this lesson earlier, would of saved me a lot of stressing!! These days it is rare to hear someone saying, God willing, or DV (deo volente) However, if we are trusting God's plans, we should always consider this. Good to plan yes, to worry, no, but also to have the mind that if it doesn't go to plan, then there is a good reason why!!

Where did Summer go?!

Wow, it seems Autumn is upon us. How quick the summer has gone. We have had such fun with badminton tournaments, walks, and new lambs that have been born. (Yes, I know it is an odd time for lambs, but since when did we do things normally?)

The girls managed to capture this bird. It flew away, unharmed minutes later. We think it may of been temporarily stunned.

awwwwww!!!

Book Review How to Accomplish twice as much in Half the Time

I recently discovered Don Aslett, thanks to a friend. I am wishing I had found this author earlier on, would of saved me time! Much of the best stuff, I already had figured by the time my 7th child arrived. My hubby gave me some great tips, too! Hmm, so what are the key things which I have learned? 1) Carry spares I have always had spare toilet paper, pet food, pencils etc....Living so far from shops, this has been a life saver. I also like to keep one of everything in key rooms; sellotape, pens, scissors. You will differ in what you need to keep at hand, but it saves plenty of time searching! 2) Work to standards, not schedules. Ditch the home school timetable, and just figure what needs to be done, and do it, and don't be discouraged if you think you haven't enough time to do something. start it, anyway! 3) Never measure your potential by what others are doing. 4) Doing is generally more restful than waiting, weighing, procrastinating....etc. What?!! I hear you say. Lol, that is what I thought, but he makes sense, doing is accomplishing, instead of worrying about doing! 5) Don't say you are having a bad day, don't be negative. Negativity breeds negativity, and pulls others down too. (As if we didn't already know, but need reminding;-) 6) People bond better when working together. Ha, so this is an excuse to get the kids involved, too! It really works, because I have done this. In general, I have found that when we have to do something, it helps if you can do stuff on the way. Take the other day for example, hubby had to visit the bank, and cos the car was parked by the sports shop, I popped in for the shuttlecocks we needed, and on the way out picked up a tesco direct order, some needed milk. Saved a few trips, as otherwise I would of had to made extra trips. Hubby had work to finish up then, so I just read some more of my book, while waiting, and menu planned. You really need to read this book, if you want to glean more idea. Happy reading;)

Book Review- Quivering Daughters

Yep, we have all heard about it, in the homeschool community, so what exactly is it referring to? Basically, the patriarchy movement, and the concept that the father rules in a kind of autocratic manner. Now, are not husbands supposed to run their familes well, and are wives to submit to husbands, and children to obey their parents? Yes! However, we all have our duties that this be done in the manner laid down in the Bible. For example, that husbands should love their wives, as Christ loves the church, and that fathers should not provoke children to anger. How can fathers provoke children to anger? The answer to this, is by using overly harsh discipline, and not necessarily corporal. Some child training books speak of breaking the child's spirit, to get them to see who is boss. That is exactly what will provoke to anger, and there is no biblical mandate for becoming a control freak. Every individual is made in the image of God, and we are all made different. I have ten children, and I can assure you, they are all different, have different personalities, strengths, weaknesses, and it is our duty as parents to guide them, not to force them. There are some matters of discipline which are absolute, such as not crossing the road, until told it is safe, but other areas which are not so. It is very important that our children know we are not perfect, and apologise when we need to. Sadly, the Patriarchal tendency is for the father to set himeself as perfect. I mention the former things, because these are all issues which have deep route in Patriarchal families. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying all are bad, but this book describes what happens when it is taken to extreme. We are treading in dangerous territory when we start prescribing absolutes from convictions, and my belief is that every christian family is unique, and has strengths, and to follow such a prescriptive route can lead to cultic tendencies, and a stifling of that family's creativity and usefulness. In the victorian era, the father's role was very much autocratic, and stifling. Yes, we love the Vicorian values, but unless it is done in a Christlike manner, it can become a problem. remember the husband submits to God, and loves his wife and children. One serious issue I had, is Patriarch movement states the God speaks only through the father. Now, this is unscriptual, as God speaks to all believers in Christ. Anyway, casting that aside, (or I could ramble forever) I did have serious view's on the book's idea of sanctification. Implying that it is immediate and one time only. There is a tendency in the author to error here, when she says that it is all God, and we leave all that to him.Yes, it is all God, but also our ongoing response is needed. Purifying our hearts by faith. We are to keep the heart with due dilligence, and to work out our own salvation with trembling and fear. If we don't take watch, it is highly possible we will as Christians backslide. Although we are not saved by works, our works are an evidence, and we are to be holy, as our Father in heaven is holy, and that part takes conscious effort. I also had an issue with the author's definition of abuse. It is way too broad, and technically every family could be classed as abusers if taken her sense literally! She seems to imply that all conservative families have issues. I think we need to be careful about labelling all the same. We need to examine ourselves, pray, study the bible, and remember, we are free in Christ not bound. If we love Jesus, we will keep his commandments, however, we need to have a very discerning eye to the commandments of God, versus the commandments of men. Each family may have different convictions on issues, and it is not always so clearcut. Now, therein lies the other problem of patriarchy, the idea that they will only associate with families who are in total agreement with their movement. This is where it can become cultish, and unduly seperatist. We are in the world, not of the world. We are not to be conformed to the world, however, we are to be salt and light in it. The salt can't savour the food, unless it somehow gets onto the food. Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees! Another issue, is the tendency with some to go back to the 'old way' of doing things. Why is old better? Unless it is Biblically based, it is not. I rather think the idea here is that the old ways will mortify the deeds of the flesh, thus, the idea of denying us of modern comforts. I don't see why we are to deny ourselves in this way, surely we can be more productive if we make use of modern revolutions! It certainly won't necessarily make us any more holy! Are they not just servants to make things easier? (Think of Martha , and Mary, the idea of Martha busying herself.) Denying modern drugs, because of the belief that only natural drugs are God's way. I love to use natural where necessary, but it is quite clear that opiates, antibiotics, and modern cancer drugs etc, can be a real blessing. I could mention many more things, but will leave it there. I would urge everyone to dilligently search the scriptures, and to regulalarly seek God's wisdom for direction in your families. I am glad this book was written, as this is an ongoing issue which needs to be examined.

Walking With our children

Yep, I am talking about walkies now. Not just a mentoring walk, but as in the physical, getting up and going out for walks in the countryside. One of the best memories of my childhood, were the walks we had. Whenever we went on holiday we would seek out new walks, and at home, too. We have always loved to do this, but easier now I have older children too, and allterrain buggies! Just now is the perfect weather for walks. The evenings are long, the early mornings are light. Weather is good. You can learn so much about nature, too. We have seen foxes, rabbits, squirrels, kestrels, buzzards. We have picked wild apples, blackberries, sloes, elderberries. Watched animals birthing, animals playing, animals feeding. Seen the trees move through the seasons. It for us, is usually a peaceful time, too. A time to talk, with fewer distractions. A time to meditate on God's handiwork. A time for refreshing, and a time for exercise! These all have their place, and sometimes it is nice to just walk with one child, to look at a sunset, and share in their joys, and ideas. So many benefits, and exciting to explore new places too.

Even if we live in the city, there are still places to explore, parks gardens, or even the coast. It is often surprising how quick even the youngest are able to build up stamina/ Our 4 year old can easily walk 4 miles without getting too tired.

Thankfulness

Having just read Ann Voskamp's book, 'A thousand gifts', I was inspired to meditate on thankfulness. Here I present some of my reflections. Being thankful is not just a show of good manners, not just mere lip service for the sake of courtesy. Thankfulness, or true thankfulness should come from the heart, and truly is thankful and content. Thankfulness is gratefully accepting what is given, what we receive, even if it isn't what we had hoped for, or expected. The Israelites murmured because they were bored of the manna, they were despising what was given, even though it was more than enough, and it was literally handed to them on a plate. The fact is, their every need was provided for, but they wanted more. Almost as if they were saying to God, ''Is that all we get?'' In the Bible, it says in the last days that people will be unthankful and unholy. Tim 3:2 ''For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,...'' As home educators, one of the most important things we can do, is to teach our children to be thankful. Not just in word, but to be content with what they have, not to be clamouring for more. It certainly does not help a child, when we give into their every whim and want. It does children good to wait, or even not have everything that they may wish for. Of course we need to teach them that material things are not so important, but rather the heart, and helping, and giving to others. Material possessions often compound strife, and it is a good thing if children learn this early on. I myself learned the importance of money, when I had to earn it. I frittered it away, and soon realised it was such a waste. Sadly peer pressure can compound the problem of material possessions, and this is not just limited to children. Peer pressure is now across the ages! Of course some children seem to be naturally generous, and giving, yet others will be so selfish, nothing seems to snap them out of it. Work with the child individually, noting their strengths and weaknesses in this area. Now, perhaps the most important thought of all, if we are not thankful ourselves in our own lives, how can we ever to expect our children to be? Do we constantly complain, and quip, If only we had.....? Are we happy with our lot? Sobre thoughts, and if you have the opportunity to read Ann Voskamps book, I thoroughly recommend it.

Phill 4:11 ''Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.''