Be Ye Kind

I noticed with a sighing heart that the younger children were starting to be particularly rude to each other, to the point of name calling etc. They had been disciplined, but it seemed to go in one ear and out the other.
One of Angela's memory verses she had learned that week was, ''Be ye kind'' so I decided to see how long they could go without being nasty to each other, and name calling. If they lasted a week they would earn a Kinder Surprise at the end of it. Amazingly it worked, though for the youngest it took 2 weeks. It made them stop and think before they say things. Something I have had to learn recently, too! Always good to think before we speak, and it has made them that much more aware. A couple weeks later, and they are not perfect, but things are a little more harmonious.

How Home Educating Does Equip Children for the World

Yes, you have heard it I''ll bet, and I have as well. Too many times to mention in fact, and often from people in church. They ask, how will our children be able to interact in the world if they don't go to school. Now, this assumes that you need to go to school to be able to interact with others, and suggests that the school is not just for education.
First of all, you need a decent education to be able to get a job at the end of the day, and recent reports have shown that schools are even failing that, as the Tesco, and Morrison's bosses found. However, that aside, when schools are asked to explain why there is a trend to poor social skills in school leavers, they blame the parents. Ha, it is the parents who are responsible for this. Interesting, eh? See, that is it from the moment the child is born, the parents interact with the child. The child learns to smile, and picks up his/her first language from the parent. It is parents who teach them table manners, politeness, etc. We reward positive selfless interaction with other children, and siblings, such as sharing toys, sweets etc. They won't be able to make friends as easily, if they don't learn how to share, and regard others' feelings, and it is us as parents who teach them that.
School can be at a disadvantage here, as children are grouped according to age. The problem is, group a bunch of five, or seven year olds together, and you are not going to help them get on with all age groups. They are more likely to pick up negative behaviours, especially being immature.When I was in school I had a few friends a couple of years younger, and the teachers reported that this wasn't ''normal'' How so? In the real world my friends are by no means even close to my age always. I haven't even mentioned the Christian aspect here of children learning things which are clearly unbiblical. When children are not arranged by age group I have found that the older children will have a positive influence on the younger children, and it helps them to mature in the right way. (That is indeed if the older children have been brought up well.)It also helps older children exercise nurture skills. The peer-age bias is diminished, meaning that children are free to be individuals , and not to feel that they have to do a, b, and c to fit in. How is wearing a certain brand of clothes, listening, and following certain celebrities positive? Children should be able to express individuality, not follow the crowd.
This is where the Christian element comes in, as ''Blessed is the man who walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly.'' Ps 1
Why on earth would Christians need their children to be educated by non Christians to ensure that they are to be successful? If the school that we would send our children to teaches things contrary to the Bible, and/or promotes ungodly behaviour, then why would we want to expose them to that negativity?
One of the major benefits of home education is that children get exposed to all age groups, and make lots of different friends in different places. I think we have made more friends, and met far more people home educating, than we ever would of had if the children were in school.
When I was in school, I remember just mixing with the same people all the time. Ironically, I didn't really learn to interact well with others till I joined the church. I was shy, and being thrown in the deep end helped.
So, remember, we are equipped for this! It doesn't take a ''professional'' to teach these things, though I may need the help of a rocket scientist if my children decide to visit the moon. :-o

To Judge or not to Judge, that is the question.

Have been thinking about the concept of judging others recently, and again I am guilty. I am sure that it is a trend that we lean to, even without meaning to. I had always thought of 'judging' as rather forming an opinion of someone, or even pronouncing a judgement on them. However, it goes deeper than that.
I was reading Matthew Henry recently, as I have his commentary in a study bible. It has been so edifying, and sometimes convicting. I love the fact that he is so thorough, and biblical. He stated, '' We usurp the place of God, when we take upon us thus to judge the thoughts and intentions of others, which are out of our view.''
That made me think a little deeper. How often have we said so and so did that because of.....I have been guilty of judging my husband like that, and also others. That is why it is very good to think the best of people first, even though human nature is desperately wicked at best.
I have had accusations by others made, like, Oh you broke that because you wanted a new one, or you broke that because you were angry. It can make you angry when someone thinks, and says the wrong thing!
I have heard of long term friendships end in just a few seconds, and usually over something so silly, but sadly often an example of the one judging the other. It happens again, and again, and again, and in Christian circles too. Even in the church.
So, it is not for us to question motives of others. There may be a perfectly understandable explanation, not to mention hidden things which we cannot see. There are two sides to every story. There is a lot of this on the net, as certain preachers are accused of heresy, or gross sin. People jump on the bandwagon, and yet it sometimes turns out that the remark was taken out of context, or the 'gross sin' was rumour. I have had the consequences of rumour, when we were mistaken for another family, and consequently it got a little out of hand. When I explained to one who had believed it, she said she had no idea, but rather assumed. Again....assumption, can be a terrible thing.
So, let's think more about others, especially within the church. corinthians 1:13 (charity in this case = love)
''and though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.''
We will not always agree on things, and it is a good thing we are all unique individuals. However, this should never be in the fundamental issues of salvation and faith. In Phillipians 4, Paul exhorts Euodias, and Syntyche (2 ladies involved in God's work) to be of the same mind. It is important that even though we may disagree, we should never let that interfere with the bonds of love we share as fellow believers.
Also to remember that no one is perfect, and yes, even friends will do foolish things sometimes. We need to be quickly able to forgive and forget. Another thing people do is to bring up past transgressions that happened years ago/months ago. If we are still holding that against people we have not forgiven. The most powerful help we have in respect of forgiveness is the indwelling Holy Spirit, and prayer. If we feel bitter, than pray!
There is a time when judging is taken out of context, and that is often when we say something is wrong, for example fornication. The Bible is very clear on this, Acts 15:20 ''But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood.''
Yet, people will often say I am judgemental. These things are clear, and if a person calling themselves a Christian engages willfully in it without repentance, then they need rebuke. These are not my opinions, but the Bible's commands. Some things are not so clear, and in these smaller things we need to be patient, and pray for more understanding, and not to be argumentative. It is good to discuss, but we have to be respectful too, unless serious error is presented.
Let us not think that even though we shouldn't judge, we shouldn't be discerning, as in Phillipians 3:2 ''Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beaware of the concision.'' Strong warning there, as ''dog'' is quite a strong term for the day. The Bible constantly warns that false teachers will come among us. So, what can we do there? We need to KNOW the scriptures, so we can test their doctrine against God's word. So many fall for false teaching, they may be meek, and humble, but those qualities without discernment, and a knowledge of the scriptures are dangerous.
To finish, is this verse true of us? Do we truly love the saints? ''By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
Also, let us think next time. Am I judging her/his intention/motive? We would have far less misunderstandings, and hurt if we could only think, and not be so quick to judge! (Me included :( )

21 YEARS

Yesterday, we celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary. We had a nice day, at M&S for lunch, a spot of shopping, and a meal later. The two eldest girls cooked the dinner for everyone else. I think they appreciate more what I do, now!
I was thrilled to pick up an opera arrangement book for piano. It was done in the 1960's, so quite old, they did some great arrangements in those days. I always love to have new pieces to play, and like to just pick it up and start straight away. I found it ironic, that as part of the collection, it included the Bridal Suite. Ironic, as it was played on our wedding day. I attempted it, but threw a few wrong notes. Oops! That is what marriage is about. You will always have the wrong notes, the moments of discord. Whenever I get it wrong while playing, I just pick up again from where I left off. That is exactly what we should be doing in marriage. Picking up where we left off, and apologising if required. No one is going to play all the notes perfectly, as none of us are perfect. Important to remember. It is very easy to expect extremely high standards from our spouses, while falling terribly short ourselves.

As The Lord expects us to walk in obedience to him, before we can expect any blessings, He also expects us to work at our marriages. Not an easy thing at times. Especially if you are like me, and hot headed, stubborn, and proud at times. Sometimes I have felt sooo frustrated, as men are wired different to us. However, it is about learning to complement these differences. A prefect fit? Maybe not, but as a little denying ourselves things to fit into that new skirt, or top, we also need to make sacrifices to make our marriages the best they can be. Of course fully relying on God in prayer first, too. Happy Anniversary!

Daily Devotions

I had a lovely flower diary given to me, which has an illustration on every weekly page. I thought it was too good to write my normal stuff in it, and then I had an idea. I thought it would make a great notebook to put the devotional quotes from my every day reading in.
You know when you read a great quote, and you think, hmmm, I must take a note of that? It also means that, when it is full, it will be great for a daily reading devotional, as there will be a quote for every day.
I guess you could do lots of other things, too, and give as a gift to someone. It could be personalised, or more journal type quotes.
Another thing I am doing, is noting down blessings, trying to think of one for every month. Another something to be thankful for, but not the trivial stuff, the more major things.

Chocolate Scones

Ah, now wish I had taken a pic. However, didn't really think of it at the time.
Recipe coming up......

INGREDIENTS
150G BUTTER, OR MARG
HALF A CUP OF SUGAR
250G SELF RAISING WHITE FLOUR
250G SELF RAISING WHOLEGRAIN FLOUR
2 TEA SPOONS BAKING POWDER
50G COCOA POWDER
100G CHOC CHIPS
2 FREE RANGE EGGS
AROUND A CUP OF MILK, SOMETIMES LESS.

METHOD:

1) MIX THE BUTTER WITH THE SUGAR, IN A BOWL.
2) ADD THE FLOURS, COCOA POWDER,BAKING POWDER AND STIR IN WELL, TILL LIKE BREADCRUMBSISH.
3) ADD CHOC CHIPS.
4) ADD MILK, AND EGG (BEATEN FIRST)
5) IT SHOULD BE WORKABLE, IF NOT ADD A LITTLE FLOUR, OR MILK.
6) TURN ONTO PASTRY BOARD, AND ROLL OUT AT ABOUT AN INCH, OR 2 THICK.
7) USE SCONE CUTTER TO CUT INTO CIRCLES.
8)bake in oven on hot for 10- 15 mins.
Enjoy!!

Why so many Children?

We got married nearly twenty one years ago. I was still in college, and on the birth control pill. Had I known what I know now, about the possibility of conception, and then the pill aborting that, I would never have taken it. Also naive to think that my carreer was far more important than anything else!

The pill made me very sick. I had migraine headaches, and vomitting. Eventually, I said enough was enough. God was telling me to give up my teacher training, and the pill. Within a couple of months I was pregnant with my first child. Not an easy pregnancy really. I had horrid morning sickness to start, and developed tachycardia later on, and severe anaemia. Had to see a heart specialist, as a rather pompous obstetrician diagnosed me with anaemic heart failure. (don't always believe what so called experts say) I was subsequently told my heart was excellent, and that obstetrician had wasted his time. I had planned a home birth, so when my waters started to leak, my midwife came out. I didn't actually feel contractions, I was in agony ALL the time. I had 16 hours of that, even running out of gas and air. I finally was transferred to the hospital 32 miles away by ambulance. Cherith was born 30 minutes later, just as my husband told the midwives, and me. They said to my husband, ''you must know something we don't'' Yep, prayer, and faith in God, our creator. I am afraid, we had said before we married that we would both be open to a large family. I however told my husband that there was no way I was having any more........Funny how the Lord can help you forget, and soften your heart.
Breast feeding was awful, as I had such soreness, I would actually bleed. A friend encouraged me to keep going, but half formula. I am glad she did, as I was all for giving the breast up!
Five months later, I was pregnant again. A lovely baby boy later, and an amazing birth. Just six hours. So much different to the first!
We had decided to have as many as the Lord gave us, and trusted that he would provide the finances, and indeed the strength, both emotionally, and physically to endure it. Now some say, you are tempting God to have lots of children, and expect the Lord to provide. I don't see anywhere in the Bible that supports this, in fact the opposite. ''children are an heritage from the Lord.''
There is nowhere in the Bible where it tells us we should limit our children due to finances. I heard one pastor say, when he was critiquing the idea of ''quiverful'' that we don't try to aqquire as much money as possible, so why should we do it with children. What a ludicrous suggestion!! As if children can be equated with money. ''the love of money is the root of all evil'' Children, are a blessing, and the fruit of the womb. They are the natural by product of marriage. If it was not so, the Lord would have said!

Our third child was a boy. He was born still in the amniotic sac. The midwife said he would be special, and was one in a million. (No wonder it was so hard to push him out!)
Our fourth child, another boy, and the first of our Scottish children.
Our fifth was another girl, and the most demanding. The midwife demanded that I put her in her cot on her own, and leave her cry...........30 minutes later, and the midwife conceded defeat. It seemed Charity only ever wanted to be close to mummy. Now, she is a very loving thirteen year old, but feisty, too!
Our sixth was a boy, and he was the first real late one. two weeks late, and we thought we wouldn't have a babysitter, as she was going to have to go home!. He was born on her last day, after much prayer! I wasn't induced, as I believe, unless there is a major medical concern, they will be born in the Lord's time. Not always our time, or in our comfort zone.
Our seventh was a month late. Now that WAS a testing time. We ended up with 2 babysitters, and a grumpy me, as it was a summer pregnancy, and I carried for over ten months. I also had a severe varicose vein problem in my leg, causing extreme pain at times. Again, I did not get induced, though at the end, due to contractions coming irregular, I had pitocin administered. We called her Hosanna Patience. Don't ask me why!
Our eighth child was born 20 months later. I had a severe post partum haemorrage. I recovered without a blood transfusion. I just didn't want to take the risk. I had been offered a transfusion before my first, and that year, a whole batch had been contaminated. I don't take these things lightly.
It was at this point that we decided to try to avoid certain times for my health, as I needed to get strength back, and iron levels up. There was a threee year gap almost, and then baby number nine was born. She was very difficult, and had severe reflux as a baby.
Three years later, our tenth was born, again nearly a month late. This time the hospital was rather annoyed that I was the first in its recent history to go over the 2 weeks without induction. One was not needed, as she was born in the Lord's time, and it was probably my best labour.

So, does the Bible say we must have as many children as God gives us? No, we are given freedom, as we are saved by grace, not works. However, works being evident, and a sign OF our faith. I believe that you cannot enter into a Christian marriage, and not expect to have children. This totally confuses one of the purposes of marriage. We also can't expect to turn on our fertility like a tap. I am forty now, and do not know if I will be blessed with any more. Mara is three and a half now. I do believe it is something that should be discussed before marriage, and also something that should be taken seriously, and prayerfully. God does bless obedience to him. He wants us to joyfully do His will. We need to seek out what his will is regarding our fertility, we cannot take it lightly. I have not heard anyone regret having the children they have had, as a norm, but plenty who have looked back, and wished they had more.
Maybe you are suffering ill health, or you feel you just can't handle any more children. Pray! Ask for the Lord's wisdom and strength. It has been a real blessing birthing 10 children. Hasn't always been easy, but the Lord has ALWAYs provided. Sometimes in amazing ways.